Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
