Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
