I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
