"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
the liver wants what the liver wants
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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