just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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