DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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