i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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