Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It's blow job season.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Randomize
