I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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