I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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