did you get engaged???
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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