She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
