If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My life is pants optional.
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