We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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