butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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