But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
