DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
