Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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