pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
