Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
