Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
