we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize