some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
