I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
