What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
organizing the empties. That sober.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
