just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
