Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
