watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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