More tranny stories later!
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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