Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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