Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
