i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
