To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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