the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
