Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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