so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
