You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
