No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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