I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
