I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Me too!
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize