I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
