Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
