If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize