sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize