If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
