you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
