farters have to be the big spoon...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
