i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
