You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize