i think my mom watched the whole time
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize