I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
