don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Sorry about my life...
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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