Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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