Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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