That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
