he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
