My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
