I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize