Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
