SEEEEXXX PLEASE
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
