My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
