I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
