dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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