Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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