playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He better not be in your backpack
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize