What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
